Happy Places
Pictured: Dr. Pfister kayaking on Sanibel Island
Ah… a breath of fresh air…
People are traveling again. During the pandemic, traveling and getting away had been postponed. But, since February of this year, many of my friends and patients have had their vaccines and, being accustomed to masks and social distancing, decided that a get-away spring break was in order. Our lighter-than-normal office schedule at the end of March and beginning of April proved quite a few families had similar intentions.
Spring break has always been an ideal time, in my mind, to blow off steam and release the stress built up from winter quarter (in college) and in my later years, the Northern Ohio winters.
Those in my generation (myself included) often feel that we can handle stress pretty well, to the extent that we begin to believe that stress has no effect on us and only the weak are susceptible to its negative systemic effects.
In this week’s blog, I’m going to be a bit transparent and bear my soul…
Because after 37 years of running my office and raising 2 boys and 38 years of marriage, I truly felt that I was not affected by stress. Over the last year, I navigated through Covid, my mother-in-law has been in the hospital or cardio rehab for 50 some days in Akron, and my 94-year-old mother was quarantined in rehab for 3 weeks with a cracked spine while battling with dementia. But it wasn’t until 2 weeks ago - with the untimely premature death, at 31, of my closest cousin’s son, Dan - that I began to feel that getting away for a bit might not be such a bad idea.
Coincidently, my wife and I had booked our favorite condo on Sanibel Island last year but had to cancel due the pandemic. We had rescheduled for last week. We had the funeral and the burial, with Irish bagpipes… there wasn’t a dry eye at the grave. At the gravesite, the minister said a lot of meaningful, well-wishing words, but one thought captured my attention…
The minister said that, in today’s stress-laden environment, every one of us must be able to find a Happy Place, where we can walk, fly, or drive to and find inner peace and solitude.
According to the minister, nobody can prescribe it for you, only your heart and soul will tell you when it’s right!
My wife and I discussed the idea of cancelling our trip. I felt guilty about leaving my cousin, but my cousin insisted that Dan would have wanted it that way, now that he was in a happier place. We missed the first half of the week but caught the last four days and - I must tell you - after 14 months of captivity and stress, the sand between my toes and the sound of the waves was biblically therapeutic!
The first twenty-four hours that I was there, I could actually feel a weight coming off my shoulders, and it felt great! I had truly never felt this way before; and I have been coming to the Sanibel-Captiva area for the past 34 years, due to the fact my mom had a condo here until two years ago.
If the truth be known, my mother admits, her first time here, she was six months pregnant with me. I ask all of you, how many places in the world can you say your first time there was in-utero! You know I love sunsets, but wait ‘til you see a Sanibel sunrise… quite breathtaking, as the gray predawn sky over Fort Meyers turns pink, then red, as the sun is directly in line with your retinas… and then an orangish blaze, as the sun arcs higher into the morning sky.
And this fluid Eastern canvas of changing colors is created in under seven minutes.
Walking the beach with your coffee and witnessing this natural phenomenon will unwind the tightest psychological knot.
The sunrise on Sanibel is surrounded with a backdrop of dolphins surfacing and pelicans diving into the surf, as each secures its early morning breakfast. I would be remiss if I didn’t mention the ever-present sand pipers and plovers, running up and down the beach at the water line for their morning sustenance.
This cornucopia of nature has been awakened by the dawn of a new day, and as you walk along sipping your coffee and taking it all in, you cannot help but feel awakened yourself with the anticipation that today is going to be great! Sunrise at the beach, afternoon osprey watching while kayaking Ding Darling wildlife sanctuary, enticing a snook from under a mangrove branch. I have always loved my trips to Africa and, since my Honeymoon, Maui holds a special place in my heart. But for once in my life, I listened to my soul and found my Happy Place at Sanibel.
Coming home, yes, there were the same issues (along with snow), but the issues seemed more manageable and solutions more attainable, as my biological compass had been refreshed and reset.
Life is just too precious and fleeting not to be fully enjoyed and appreciated to its fullest.
The psychological, slow-developing strangle hold of stress can make you its prisoner without you being fully aware of its grip or its blinding influence on your life’s compass, as it did with Dan!
As much as I have written about the Four Pillars of Life (hydration, exercise, sleep, and nutrition), I feel I must add a fifth - understanding your internal stress level.
I implore you to monitor your stress levels and listen to your body when it tells you a vacay or road trip, even for just an afternoon, is in order… Do it! Remember, your body may speak to you in the form of your spouse, friend, co-worker, whoever it may be….
We only have one body and one life - treat it like a temple…. not a tent! (And that means managing stress, too.)
Find your Happy Place and it will calm your soul.
- Dr. Pfister