The Spring they Never Had

The Covid quarantine has definitely given us a lot of time to ponder the meaning of everything, from why s’mores taste so good to life itself.

I was sitting at my desk last week and reflecting on the meaning and symbolism of Spring. The Cambridge dictionary says it’s the season between winter and summer. Wow, I knew that! So I Googled, “What is so special about Spring?” Google quipped “April showers bring May flowers.” And “Spring is the King of Seasons” because the warmer weather brings a commencement of life. These are great answers, but if you ask a high school senior what is special about Spring, one of the top five answers (higher with females) would be prom and the associated planning, anticipation, and making of memories. On the list would also be softball, baseball, track, and commencement (not in any particular order).

Prom, softball, baseball, track, and graduation ceremonies have all become casualties of the Covid quarantine suffered most by our seniors.

Seniors, who may have worked since first grade to become captains of their baseball teams, softball teams, and track teams, are finding no closure to their sporting careers. This is the time in their lives to excel for that sacred college scholarship… only to end up with no season at all! The mom-and-daughter-painstakenly-chosen perfect prom dress, on a hanger in the closet, is hoping for a debut. And the final blow is the cancelling of commencement or the promise of a virtual one.

Working for 12 years for that brief moment in the spot light, walking across the stage in cap and gown, being given a firm handshake, a smile of approval and best wishes from the principal as you’re handed your diploma, then standing together with your class, who you have spent so much of your childhood with and the turning of your tassels and throwing of the caps… all memories of commencement that will last a lifetime… and all memories robbed. Truly, I feel this is a young person’s rite of passage from childhood to adulthood. Once across the stage, it is the end of innocence and the senior is off to the great world ahead with all its trials and tribulations.

As difficult as the reality of the Covid quarantine has been for our seniors, it has been equally difficult (if not more) for their parents as well.

And this is the different spin on this Spring that I’d like all parents of high school or college seniors to reflect on. Guns and Roses, in their song “Sweet Child of Mine”, says it best:

She’s got a smile that seems to me
Reminds me of childhood memories
She takes me away to that special place
And if I stare too long, I’d probably breakdown and cry

We can look into our child’s eyes and want them to have the positive experiences and memories that we enjoyed at their age and now cherish in our hearts… but wait… they have enjoyed (and can continue to enjoy) amazing experiences this Spring, all with cherished memories. Their experiences will just be different than ours!

This Spring I have been closer to my family physically and emotionally than at any other time in my life. The longest our family had ever been together prior to this Spring was a two-week vacation which we spent running all over Florida. But never a seven week stay-in-one-place vacation! Our family - like yours - has played games (some amazingly creative out of boredom), we’ve sat by our fire pit night-in and night-out, and we’ve talked and laughed and really enjoyed the simple pleasures of family life! Yes, we’ve communicated more than ever. My boys couldn’t get up and go visit friends. Neither could my wife nor I. I’m sure all of you have had interesting moments of communication that would never have happened in a “normal” Spring.

Remembering our normal Springs with a senior, it was like life on a treadmill, meals whenever and with whomever was at home at the time. Sports schedules with both parents going in opposite directions and sometimes wrong directions. Our children have opened up, chatted about life (and even online schooling). Our time with them has been special. There has never been and probably never will be again in our lives, such a special bonding time for families as this one.

This Spring has given all of us parents the time to demonstrate to our children first-hand the love that a family has and shares when times are good (and especially when not).

We have strengthened our bonds with our children, especially our seniors who are about to leave our protective sides. As we weave this family fabric of love, may it serve as an inner reminder to our seniors that their family loves and supports them, no matter where life takes them.

As we begin to see the light at the end of the quarantine tunnel, I’d like to close with this thought: the Covid pandemic that paralyzed the world may leave us with a redeeming social value of strengthening our family cohesion and helping us to send our Class of 2020 into the world better prepared emotionally and psychologically than any other class in the history of mankind.

The Spring our seniors never had may just be the one that made them great.

- Dr. P